Multitudes

“You contain multitudes.”

I know. I have known for so long, so long. Known for forever.

You never told me. Never told me. Told me never.

What to do. To do. To do.

The voices echo echo echo.

Overwhelming. Overwhelmed.

The mess, messy, messes.

Beauty where? Hidden, lost, forever.

Just junk. Just jess. Junk.

Core Strength

Lift as you dip.

Ground as you rise.

Pull apart at the core.

No bar.

Catch yourself.

Mass

I yell, “I’m lost!”.

You hand me an umbrella.

I pulled off my toenails.

The pain told my brain

how large my body truly is.

I swing my arms till I smack your face.

Don’t stand so close.

Wish

I only ever wanted your love.

Ha!

Of course not.

I wanted so much from you.

A wishlist, pages and pages.

Few simple, many complex,

but none have I received.

Your love, though.

I would settle for your love.

Three Letters

It starts with a penny, a fingernail, a stick of gum.

Say yes, of course, no reason to refuse.

Maybe next it’s twenty dollars, an arm, a phone call.

Easy, so easy, of course, say yes.

It increases so slowly, the 1% incline, the 0.5% tax.

Yes, you say.

Yes. Yes. Yes.

You can’t see where you are,

can’t see the road that brought you here.

And the only word you have left to say is yes.

Trying So Hard

I suppress the electricity.

You can see the roots of my hair crackling.

Flashes of light under my fingernails.

I wore the rubber-soled shoes.

I swear.

I swear, I’m under control.

It’s not me.

It’s not me.

It’s you.

Poetry Class

I thought I had to be funny,

but he told me humor is overrated.

I thought I had to be shocking,

but he told me nothing shocks anymore.

I thought I had to be concise,

but he told me over hours I was wrong.

I thought I had to be mysterious,

but he told me I was trying too hard.

I thought I had to be sympathetic,

but he told me I was trying too hard.

I thought I had to focus on the message,

but he told me how now trumps what.

All Apology

I stole the day from you,
filled it from sun to moon
with little requests for
praise and
reassurance and
that small, wondrous feeling.

You care,
but you shouldn’t
because I cannot give back to you
my time.

I just came for a fix.
I’m trying to quit.

Swimming

I left three men underwater
when I plucked seaweed
to cover the mass of me.

Straws shoved down their throats.
Eyes wide as they learned to breathe
in small amounts.

I had grown fins to escape,
having no luck with wings,
but they didn’t believe.

I cut the scales off.
Back on land I can see their bubbles
and wonder how fast they can learn.

Calm Yourself

Barbed-wire-wrapped arms.
Little pricks of blood like Christmas lights.
Don’t move.
Don’t move.